So - is there anything left when you die? Is there a soul and heaven and afterlife... or even just ghosts or spirits? I mean seriously - everybody talks about stuff - religeous people obviously believe in god and heaven and hell (yea- guess those probably should be capitalized - mab that is a subtle hint to my feelings). People that are not religeous at all will go on and on about ghosts and spirits .. and I guess everybody has had some spooky or strange experience that would lend some small credibility to the possibility of there being SOMETHING after you die... I now believe I am convinced that there probably is nothing after you die. Kinda disapointing - it would be nice to think that if I were to die I could still look in on the kids from some ethereal spirit world and guide them in some unexplainable way through out their lives.... but no - I don't think so. So far as religeon - for something that is supposed to be good and filled with love it is responsible for more death and misery and war than every other possible reason for those things combined. I do not believe if there was a all powerful being or higher power that was in any way benevolent or good that there would be starvation, plagues, wars, babies and children dieing horrible deaths every day - nope - can't buy into the "it is not for us to understand the ways the lord works..." If that is the way he/she/it/ works then I feel no real urge to worship or glorify them whatsoever. I think within minutes after the body stops breathing and the heart stops beating all the little chemicals and electric charges in the brain quit firing and decomposition begins with nothing more to come except ashes or dirt.
I did not always believe this - it is relatively recent that I have become convinced of that - but I think I know exactly what it feels like to be dead. I believe it will be like when I have a seizure - there is just nothingness - no sense of a passage of time or awareness - not like sleeping at all - just nothingness - except it goes on forever instead of for an hour or so. When a seaizure happens the brain sort of misfires and goes kaput until it reboots - I think death means the little electrical signals stop and there is nothing more - no reincarnation - no spirit or ghostly ethereal form, no afterlife- just worm food. Before I experienced the seizures I was never sure but for some reason that convinced. Nothing to worry about on my part at all - just done. Now obviously there are ramifications for your family and people that know you or love you - but for the person doing the dieing it is all done and over - no need to worry - your worries are done. That is not to say that I do not put a great deal of thought into how my death might effect others - but I am sure how it will effect me - not at all-... because for me I will be gone and all problems and all pain will be gone. No more migraines or illness or feeling useless. So the only question to be determined is would dieing willfully be a selfish unforgiveable act based on the effect it had on my family and children or would it be my right since it is my life and my decision?
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